Elul Thoughts

Playing games and reconnecting in the new year - for the sake of heaven 

In a time when there is so much division in our society, disagreements with those we know and love are almost inevitable. Whether it is about Israel, politics, or something else, we are in a time of great change, and there will be — and should be — robust debate. The challenge is to keep our machloket “l’shem shamayim,” for the sake of Heaven, and not just to prove we are right. 

One way is to focus on trying to understand and learn instead of to win. For those of us who like to win and be competitive, this is a hard shift. But much like learning a new game, sometimes we have to put away our competitive nature and take a learner’s stance instead. This mindset — what the rabbis call anavah (humility) — is praised throughout Jewish tradition.  

In the world of games, winning can be sweet — but in the world of relationships, a gracious loss can be even sweeter. In other words, real strength is not in crushing an opponent, but in choosing restraint, humility, and love — the kind of victory that builds relationships instead of breaking them.  

As we enter Elul, the month of preparation for the High Holy Days, may we remember that in the game of life, God does not count our wins, but the ways we repair, forgive, and strengthen the bonds between us.