Elul Thoughts

Making a Heart of Many Rooms

I used to love to debate – to challenge and to be challenged. I loved examining issues from different angles, turning them over through verbal sparring, allowing them to influence, change, or sharpen my perspectives. But, in recent months, I find myself retreating from debate, afraid it will become a battle rather than a friendly parry.
Ours is a world of polarization and mistrust. Against this backdrop, I continue to grapple with what it means to be in real relationship with others, even when they do not share our beliefs. How do we move from distrust and contempt into mutual respect?
In Judaism, we use the framework of machloket l’shem shemayim. But this concept, that we argue for the sake of heaven, only works when both parties come with deep respect for one another and a belief that more than one thing can be true.
The Rabbis of the Tosefta offer us guiding wisdom: “make for yourself a heart of many rooms,” whereby we can bring multiple truths into our many chambers and determine for ourselves what we believe, recognizing that there may be more than one truth.  
Engaging in debate can and should be for the sake of something higher and holier – for the sake of heaven. Holding space for multiple truths and becoming open and vulnerable enough to allow those truths to move us, does not make us weak and it does not mean we’ve lost the debate. Quite the opposite – it means that we’ve all won.